This past weekend, I’m running around town trying to get my errands done. I had just made a couple stops and was on my way to a 4-year-old birthday party. I’m driving along, singing to the radio, minding my own business, and then apparently the bad driving fairy hit me.
I hit my turn signal and moved over into the right turn lane. The right turn lane rolls past a gas station and has a place to turn in or out of it. This of course is right next to the turn lane.
I see a car sitting there waiting to pull out into traffic. It’s a big, light blue Caprise. The person behind the wheel is looking down and towards the passenger seat. Not paying any attention to how traffic is moving, the lights at the intersection, nothing. Because of this I naturally (although stupidly) assume that means he isn’t trying to go somewhere where is might interrupt my driving.
As I approach him, he raises his head and, without looking, pulls out right in front of me. There would have been an accident if I hadn’t slammed on the breaks. I also hit the horn to make sure that he finally noticed that there was a car driving here.
He stopped and looked up at me and was slightly startled. Then he relaxed a little, got a smile on his face…and blew me a kiss.
Monday, September 24, 2007
Friday, September 21, 2007
August in the Midwest
For any of you that have never been here during that time of year, let me explain.
August is a special. You will never in life be more convinced that there is no deodarant on earth that works. You know exactly where to go to find the best sweet corn in town and eat until you’re ready to burst. And you’re pretty sure the orange construction cones are multiplying when you’re not looking.
Also about this time of year if it ever does rain, it usually involves thunder, lightning, and the occasional tornado warning.
So it’s mid-August. My mom had just gotten back in town after a week in Colorado. I decided to go to see her. We made a stop at the local bookstore to check for anything new that had come out that we “had” to have and then a stop for ice cream.
We noticed as we were out driving around that it was getting cloudy and starting to look a little weird outside. The clouds looked weird, they had a weird color. We decided we should go home right away and check the weather. Sometimes you just get a feeling when it could be a little rough outside. Like when the sky starts turning unnatural colors and the wind comes to a complete halt out of nowhere.
Three blocks from my mom’s house is a fire station that is home to 1 fire truck and 1 ambulance. As we go through the intersection that is just on the other side of it, towards my mom’s house, I noticed that the ambulance is pulled out but is stopped in the driveway. This naturally made me tense up. (The guys that work at the fire station have been known to turn on the sirens on just as someone is at the end of the driveway. They apparently think they are terribly funny. The people in the vehicle on the other hand have to immediately go home and clean themselves up when this happens.) We both looked over and notice that there is a car in the firehouse. This of course had us curious. We then realize that there are several cars parked sideways in the firehouse.
And then the lightbulb.
Pull the city vehicle, the emergency response vehicle, outside into the path of the oncoming storm. Save your own cars!
We then get in the house about two minutes of the thunder and lightning. We turned on the t.v. to one of the local stations to check any storm warnings and radar. We stopped on one station for a while. They of course have on different people who work for the station who are all over the city and are giving live phone reports of what’s going on. The main news anchors are on telling how they would like to see pictures of any damage or of the storm and clouds, including downed powerlines. The woman anchor then tells people how they can email in their pictures of any power outages.
Now maybe I just live in the wrong area. Or I’m not up on the latest technology. But if I don’t have any power, how exactly am I supposed to get my computer to turn on to email you pictures?
August is a special. You will never in life be more convinced that there is no deodarant on earth that works. You know exactly where to go to find the best sweet corn in town and eat until you’re ready to burst. And you’re pretty sure the orange construction cones are multiplying when you’re not looking.
Also about this time of year if it ever does rain, it usually involves thunder, lightning, and the occasional tornado warning.
So it’s mid-August. My mom had just gotten back in town after a week in Colorado. I decided to go to see her. We made a stop at the local bookstore to check for anything new that had come out that we “had” to have and then a stop for ice cream.
We noticed as we were out driving around that it was getting cloudy and starting to look a little weird outside. The clouds looked weird, they had a weird color. We decided we should go home right away and check the weather. Sometimes you just get a feeling when it could be a little rough outside. Like when the sky starts turning unnatural colors and the wind comes to a complete halt out of nowhere.
Three blocks from my mom’s house is a fire station that is home to 1 fire truck and 1 ambulance. As we go through the intersection that is just on the other side of it, towards my mom’s house, I noticed that the ambulance is pulled out but is stopped in the driveway. This naturally made me tense up. (The guys that work at the fire station have been known to turn on the sirens on just as someone is at the end of the driveway. They apparently think they are terribly funny. The people in the vehicle on the other hand have to immediately go home and clean themselves up when this happens.) We both looked over and notice that there is a car in the firehouse. This of course had us curious. We then realize that there are several cars parked sideways in the firehouse.
And then the lightbulb.
Pull the city vehicle, the emergency response vehicle, outside into the path of the oncoming storm. Save your own cars!
We then get in the house about two minutes of the thunder and lightning. We turned on the t.v. to one of the local stations to check any storm warnings and radar. We stopped on one station for a while. They of course have on different people who work for the station who are all over the city and are giving live phone reports of what’s going on. The main news anchors are on telling how they would like to see pictures of any damage or of the storm and clouds, including downed powerlines. The woman anchor then tells people how they can email in their pictures of any power outages.
Now maybe I just live in the wrong area. Or I’m not up on the latest technology. But if I don’t have any power, how exactly am I supposed to get my computer to turn on to email you pictures?
Monday, September 17, 2007
Road Rage
I am totally one of those people that should not be allowed to drive myself around. I should have a driver. I should be allowed to lounge in the back seat where I’m allowed to be oblivious to anything having to do with getting me where I’m going.
I think I’m a fairly good driver. I signal when it’s called for, I don’t follow too closely, I don’t generally talk on my cell phone when I’m driving. However when these things are done by other drivers it sends me to a place I’m not sure anyone operating a vehicle should be allowed to go. When other people do not follow the “rules of the road” it makes me into a different person. I have been known to let some words slip out that my mother would backhand me for. In fast, occasionally sailors would be proud. There’s the occasional struggle not to perform a hand gesture – or at least to keep it below the dash board, just in case. And almost always the argument that proceeds as if the other driver can actually hear me or is willing to participate or might actually offer some sort of apology.
I have decided to try and make myself calm down while I’m driving. It can’t be good for me. I can feel my blood pressure rise. I can tell when my cheeks get flushed. I can go to the brink of a migraine with the eye roll that is sure to follow. So I’m going to relax. Or at least it started out that way.
As I’m driving on a stretch of the interstate that runs through the west side of the city connecting the north and the south sides. It was a nice evening so the windows were down, my hair was swirling around invading most of the car, I was singing to the radio, tapping my fingers on the steering wheel. All was right with the world.
And then it happened.
On one stretch of road, there are three lanes. One that veers to the left, the middle and right lanes that veer to the right. This woman in her silver car whips suddenly from the far left lane to the far right lane, cutting me off. No signal, no warning, no look in the rearview mirror with a little wave and a sheepish grin that says “I know you hate my guts right now, but I really had to get over”. Nothing.
I was trying to keep myself under control. I kept repeating to myself “let it go. Relax. It’s no big deal.” I let out a deep breath. I went back to focusing on whatever was coming out of the radio and my duty to sing to the other drivers as I went about my way.
A few miles down the road, there is an area where for a very short distance, 2 lanes merge into one. For no real reason other than some engineers urge to screw up traffic and be annoying, the right lane ends briefly and then reappears. All traffic must merge left. It’s always been that way. There are signs posted. It’s not a secret.
As I am approaching this particular spot in the road, I notice that the silver car hasn’t exited yet and is just about a half-car’s length in front of me. Only now there’s an added issue…she’s talking on her cell phone. My stomach began to tighten a little. I knew where this was going. I was right. As the lanes merged, Ms. Silver Car jerked herself over in front of me, cutting me off, without signaling, while still talking on the phone. That is like the kiss of death.
I had tried so long on my journey to be good and stick to what I had set out to do. Really. I did. But out of nowhere it could just feel it coming up and before I even knew what happened my mouth opened and out it came…
“Donkeyhead!”
I think I’m a fairly good driver. I signal when it’s called for, I don’t follow too closely, I don’t generally talk on my cell phone when I’m driving. However when these things are done by other drivers it sends me to a place I’m not sure anyone operating a vehicle should be allowed to go. When other people do not follow the “rules of the road” it makes me into a different person. I have been known to let some words slip out that my mother would backhand me for. In fast, occasionally sailors would be proud. There’s the occasional struggle not to perform a hand gesture – or at least to keep it below the dash board, just in case. And almost always the argument that proceeds as if the other driver can actually hear me or is willing to participate or might actually offer some sort of apology.
I have decided to try and make myself calm down while I’m driving. It can’t be good for me. I can feel my blood pressure rise. I can tell when my cheeks get flushed. I can go to the brink of a migraine with the eye roll that is sure to follow. So I’m going to relax. Or at least it started out that way.
As I’m driving on a stretch of the interstate that runs through the west side of the city connecting the north and the south sides. It was a nice evening so the windows were down, my hair was swirling around invading most of the car, I was singing to the radio, tapping my fingers on the steering wheel. All was right with the world.
And then it happened.
On one stretch of road, there are three lanes. One that veers to the left, the middle and right lanes that veer to the right. This woman in her silver car whips suddenly from the far left lane to the far right lane, cutting me off. No signal, no warning, no look in the rearview mirror with a little wave and a sheepish grin that says “I know you hate my guts right now, but I really had to get over”. Nothing.
I was trying to keep myself under control. I kept repeating to myself “let it go. Relax. It’s no big deal.” I let out a deep breath. I went back to focusing on whatever was coming out of the radio and my duty to sing to the other drivers as I went about my way.
A few miles down the road, there is an area where for a very short distance, 2 lanes merge into one. For no real reason other than some engineers urge to screw up traffic and be annoying, the right lane ends briefly and then reappears. All traffic must merge left. It’s always been that way. There are signs posted. It’s not a secret.
As I am approaching this particular spot in the road, I notice that the silver car hasn’t exited yet and is just about a half-car’s length in front of me. Only now there’s an added issue…she’s talking on her cell phone. My stomach began to tighten a little. I knew where this was going. I was right. As the lanes merged, Ms. Silver Car jerked herself over in front of me, cutting me off, without signaling, while still talking on the phone. That is like the kiss of death.
I had tried so long on my journey to be good and stick to what I had set out to do. Really. I did. But out of nowhere it could just feel it coming up and before I even knew what happened my mouth opened and out it came…
“Donkeyhead!”
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